Monthly Archives: October 2009

I loved last Monday night. Spent the night over at Brandon’s place, helping him rushed his individual assignment for Financial Planning. What a module! I have immense respect for him for taking up Accountancy. It’s probably the toughest Business Degree ever! I suck at any accounting modules. They drain my brain and fry it dry. I get absolutely stressed out and grouchy just by looking at the balance sheets and what nots. Anyway, I did what I was best at and helped Darling summarise eight newspaper articles, most of which I had no idea what they were yaddling about. I don’t bother with the financial section of newspapers. Summarising them were a pain in the ass. But I held on because I wanted to be useful. Would feel damn guilty and useless if I couldn’t help in any way. So I reread the articles till I could decipher the content. *bleah* Took a little break and watched Criminal Minds on TV with PILs. That show totally rock more than CSI Miami now. But Bones is the best! Season 5 is back on video streaming. *yippee* Alright, I side-tracked. I finished my parts, took a shower and started massaging the tensed muscles on Darling’s shoulders and back with a cartoonish massaging stick he got many months back because it was cheap and funny. Then my eyes caught sight of a bottle of peanuts and I started cracking the shells and feeding the nuts to Darling. He got addicted pretty fast to the nuts. *haha* Worked till late into the night before hitting the sack.

Got awaken by the freaking alarm clock 3 hours later. I hate Darling’s alarm clock! It shrieks like there’s no tomorrow! Watched Darling prepared for work before he cabbed down to Shenton Way and me back home. Was dead tired by that time but I made myself take a warm shower, put on a deep cleansing mask, Sk2-ed, fill up my stomach before falling dead in bed till I had to get up for my tutoring in the evening.

The rest of last week was practically crazily dramatic. I snapped mid-week and lashed out at a friend. If it wasn’t absolutely necessary, I wouldn’t have done so. I wanted her to get better soon and needed her to heed my advice when she asked for mine. Despite me being harsh, it woke her up. I wouldn’t have did it another way. I think she understood my intention for those things I said to her. I really meant well and was being objective. Anyway, things got back to being rosy soon after. *phew* But what advice I gave , it sure doesn’t apply to Darling and I. We have a different set of rules. *haha*

And I despise drama in my life. I don’t need any of it. I like the way my life is. Simple yet contented. Challenges and obstacles are fine. But not drama. Ain’t young anymore so I can’t handle unnecessary crap. I don’t have time for that. I need to focus on being happy, studies and money-making. Money-making is important if I want to get out of their claws soon. *haha* And I want to! I want my own apartment with Darling. Soon!!! I’m going nuts living under such conditions. Nuts!

Made Darling brunch on Saturday morning before the last lecture of the semester. Rolled different flavours of sausages in bacon strips and made an omelette sandwich. The bacon rolls were a success. *yay* I’m not much of a cook so it matters that food do not taste horrible or get burnt. Had a little talk with Emelia before class. We left early to meet our loverboys.

Darling and I hanged out around town since I wanted to get my magazine and only Kinokuniya has it. He accompanied me on a skincare spree. So much fun for me. Darling’s such a sweetie for not complaining about doing girlie stuff with me. He’s my best friend so he shouldn’t complain, right? *wahahaha* Love you baby! Love you for being such a sweetie to me always.

I like that skincare products come in small packagings. Hygiene and freshness are major concerns to me. IMO, small packagings allow the content to be kept at the freshest and cleanest state. Unless it’s products such as facial cleansers and makeup removers which I use like crazy every day. Bigger bottles aid convenience and they get used up really fast so hygience is not an issue with them. But imagine getting the largest bottle of Sk2. The essence comes into contact with air every single time you twist the cap open for application. The content will most defnitely get affected by external impurities. And you wouldn’t want that to happen after paying close to $200 for miracle water. *haha* 10ml lasted me 10 days with morning and night application so the smallest bottle works well for me. Will share with you my skincare procedures and tips when I get everything I need and see results. Still looking to change my day moisturiser, night cream and eye cream. It’s tough because I’ve got really sensitive skin and breaking out is the last thing i need. So, research research research. Darling reckons I’m fair enough and should stop with all this whitening and brightening craze. But men don’t get it. Women spent half their time maintaining their looks. It’s a neverending journey for perfection.

Darling accompanied me to my first accupuncture session on Monday. I was feeling so brave to get my sinus problem solved. The TCM doctor told me I needed constant sessions for it to work. I wasn’t scared of needles so I thought I could handle it. How wrong I was. I was scared to death. The doctor started poking needles into my face and head before I had the time to prepare myself mentally. Darling wasn’t allowed into the treatment room so I had no one to hold onto. I was still calm after the needles were poked into me but when they held a flame over those needles, I lost it. I couldn’t see a thing but could still feel, hear and smell. The chaota smell was freaking me out. I’ve got this unexplainable fear for fire ever since I burnt myself when I was young. Not seeing where the flame was heading to freaked me out even more! Kept hearing strange noises coming from other patients and I started imagining things. I was so close to sprinting out of the room. I kept tearing throughout the treatment, wishing the whole session would end soon. When it was finally done, I walked out of the room with my knees still wobbling in fright. I think I freaked Darling out with the look on my face. Had smudged eyeliner and mascara. He started comforting me but all I wanted to do was to leave the place FAST! Then I dug my head into his chest and started tearing. So paiseh. Me crying because of accupuncture. It wasn’t supposed to happen. *wahahaha* Alright, I have my moments of vulnerability. If a butterfly or a moth attack me, I swear I WILL cry! Anyway, thankfully Darling was there to hug me and sayang me. *awww* So sweet!!! Despite the horrifying 1st time, I just made up my mind to continue my treatment. Darling said I was brave to even give accupuncture a try. Wah! Even more determined to go for the subsequent treatments. *wahahaha* I’m bleak like this. Darling praises me and I’m all for it. *hahaha*

When I look back at all my entries, I’m reminded that almost everything about me is connected somehow to Brandon. I know it gets on people’s nerves when they think I’ve got no life, always being attached to My Boy. But I don’t really care when people pass such mindless judgements. And it doesn’t affect me at all. They don’t know me like how people who matter to me know me. I’ve never been happier in my life. Nothing short of feeling blissfully in love. And when I see friends get entangled in relationship issues, I learn from their mistakes and never make the same ones. I don’t want to be in their shoes and will never let those unnecessary conflicts happen. I’m happy and contented with the way Branchel is working out. And I’m f**king determined to make it last. Forever! 11 lifetimes! And more! *haha* I know what I want and I will get what I want! Love you Brandon!

Last night got me thinking but I was too lazy to mobile blog. Realised that there’s this saying goes that doesn’t apply to me at all. “Boys come and go, friends are always here to stay.” That doesn’t happen to me. I’m never a girl’s girl and I don’t know if it’s a sad thing. Friends, good friends, best friends, they just come and go. And I’m used to it. I’ve been treated the worst by girls whom I saw as good friends. I’ve been lied to and manipulated by best friends. Seriously, I had enough of said friendships. I never got hurt in any past relationships. Couldn’t care less when I ended them all. I’m not boasting, just making my point here that friendships inflicted more pain on me than relationships do. So I’m done looking for girls who genuinely treat me nice. No, I’m really done with it. I don’t think it’s going to happen and I couldn’t care less. Not sore, but I really don’t care for true friendships anymore. I know some friends reading this might get offended. What I’m saying is, I don’t expect anything from friendships. I will still treat you the way you treat me. And if I think you are worthy of my time, I’ll be nicer to you. But I won’t look past that and hope for a lasting friendship. Like I said, I’m done with it. Got burnt too many times to care anymore. I supposed this is unfair to friends who hope to have deeper friendships with me. But time will tell. And when that time comes, you will get what I mean.

The thing I truly and solely cherish is the relationship I have with Brandon. I know some may say it’s too early to tell since it has been only 2.5 years into the relationship but I know it. I can’t explain how I’m so sure of everything with him, but I know it’s real. Some may say love is unpredictable, but I know ours is predictable; I can only see it getting deeper and sweeter as years roll pass. Yes, go on and puke your guts out, or shake your heads at what you think is an immature statement. You are not me and you don’t know what I have. I worked hard at making this relationship work. It didn’t come handled to me on a silver platter. Relationships are hard work. It’s bull that love is the easiest thing. I haven’t been this compromising or submissive to a partner ever before. If you could relate a relationship to the Third Reich, then, I was Hitler. I made them bow / salute to whatever I say or want. I’m The Queen and if they don’t agree with that, fuck off. But things changed when I got together with Brandon. I don’t regret one bit being alittle submissive to him. Crazy enough, I like it. It makes me feel doted on and pampered when I’m his 小女人. It makes me happy. He treats me like how I should be treated. And I’ll treat him likewise. He makes me smile and laugh; listens to my ramblings and rantings like they are the most important thing on the planet. He makes me feel special, wanted, important, cherished. I like where I am now with Brandon. What matters is we are genuinely happy. It’s like hard work paying off. And I’m enjoying every bit of it. I don’t care what others say about me or my relationship with Brandon. You don’t matter and people who do matter to me (family) know how happy we really are. That said, if you violently disagree with me, I suggest you stop putting yourself through a hard time digesting my entries. Buzz off. Shoo.

I’m being really mean with this entry. It must be the examination blues. I’m meeting Darling tomorrow for lunch at Shenton Way. It’s going to be a good day. Days are good because we make them out to be. And I want to make every single day with Brandon better than the one before. I’m madly in love with you Sweetie Bear Bear. You know I am.