Last night got me thinking but I was too lazy to mobile blog. Realised that there’s this saying goes that doesn’t apply to me at all. “Boys come and go, friends are always here to stay.” That doesn’t happen to me. I’m never a girl’s girl and I don’t know if it’s a sad thing. Friends, good friends, best friends, they just come and go. And I’m used to it. I’ve been treated the worst by girls whom I saw as good friends. I’ve been lied to and manipulated by best friends. Seriously, I had enough of said friendships. I never got hurt in any past relationships. Couldn’t care less when I ended them all. I’m not boasting, just making my point here that friendships inflicted more pain on me than relationships do. So I’m done looking for girls who genuinely treat me nice. No, I’m really done with it. I don’t think it’s going to happen and I couldn’t care less. Not sore, but I really don’t care for true friendships anymore. I know some friends reading this might get offended. What I’m saying is, I don’t expect anything from friendships. I will still treat you the way you treat me. And if I think you are worthy of my time, I’ll be nicer to you. But I won’t look past that and hope for a lasting friendship. Like I said, I’m done with it. Got burnt too many times to care anymore. I supposed this is unfair to friends who hope to have deeper friendships with me. But time will tell. And when that time comes, you will get what I mean.

The thing I truly and solely cherish is the relationship I have with Brandon. I know some may say it’s too early to tell since it has been only 2.5 years into the relationship but I know it. I can’t explain how I’m so sure of everything with him, but I know it’s real. Some may say love is unpredictable, but I know ours is predictable; I can only see it getting deeper and sweeter as years roll pass. Yes, go on and puke your guts out, or shake your heads at what you think is an immature statement. You are not me and you don’t know what I have. I worked hard at making this relationship work. It didn’t come handled to me on a silver platter. Relationships are hard work. It’s bull that love is the easiest thing. I haven’t been this compromising or submissive to a partner ever before. If you could relate a relationship to the Third Reich, then, I was Hitler. I made them bow / salute to whatever I say or want. I’m The Queen and if they don’t agree with that, fuck off. But things changed when I got together with Brandon. I don’t regret one bit being alittle submissive to him. Crazy enough, I like it. It makes me feel doted on and pampered when I’m his 小女人. It makes me happy. He treats me like how I should be treated. And I’ll treat him likewise. He makes me smile and laugh; listens to my ramblings and rantings like they are the most important thing on the planet. He makes me feel special, wanted, important, cherished. I like where I am now with Brandon. What matters is we are genuinely happy. It’s like hard work paying off. And I’m enjoying every bit of it. I don’t care what others say about me or my relationship with Brandon. You don’t matter and people who do matter to me (family) know how happy we really are. That said, if you violently disagree with me, I suggest you stop putting yourself through a hard time digesting my entries. Buzz off. Shoo.

I’m being really mean with this entry. It must be the examination blues. I’m meeting Darling tomorrow for lunch at Shenton Way. It’s going to be a good day. Days are good because we make them out to be. And I want to make every single day with Brandon better than the one before. I’m madly in love with you Sweetie Bear Bear. You know I am.